Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Christopher Jacob passed away Tuesday @ 12:30
It's hard to put a closing on a story that was unfolding over the last 7 weeks and 2 days. It may never be closed to me, yet I will forever have this blog, and it reads almost as if I was writing a story, but unfortunately I could not control the ending. Christopher had gotten his seizures under control Monday and was doing really well. When I left him Monday night things were looking up and his vent settings were so low it was very promising that we would be coming off the ventilator again Tuesday. Around 11:00pm Monday night they found blood in his stool and started trying to figure out where it came from. Hoping it was from an irritation his feedings were stopped and he was put back on the fluids they had just removed him from earlier that day. Early Tuesday morning when I saw him, he had a fever and his bleeding and aspirating through his feeding tube were getting worse. As test and x-rays were done, our worse fears became true. The one thing he had stayed away from, the one thing that a premie can not beat, apparently a side effect of the steroids, a slight tear in his intestine was found. Immediately he was scheduled for surgery and was to be transported to Childrens Hospital in Birmingham, AL. However the fear of the intenstinal tear is bile getting out into his blood stream. Unfortunately this had happened sooner than we had hoped. Once it got out his blood stream became poisoned and it reached his heart. A little more than 12 hours after the bleeding was first noticed, he died from heart failure and blood poisoning. He had beaten everything else. His lungs, were the best they had ever been that morning when I saw the x-ray. He would have come off the vent and I believe been a healthy baby very soon, if this has not happened. I stayed with him all morning, brushing his hair and talking to him. He just lay there looking at me as if he was asking me to help him. I had 7 weeks and 2 days with Christopher. I know he heard me, I know he saw me, I know he loved me.. I was his mom. God Bless you "little buddy".
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
This is the most tragic news Kristi. My deepest condolences to yo and darren. You are both in my thoughts. Of course if theres anything i can do just ask. I really thought hed make it this is just such a shock. I cant imagine what ur going thru.
ReplyDeletemy deepest sympathies to you and your family
all my love
wolf
Dear Kristi,Darren & Family
ReplyDeleteWith much sadness I read this entry and I too wish to add my sincere sympathy and condolences to you all,Christopher was a fighter no doubt about that and with this vigil of prayers and thoughts I felt Chris was part of me and my life.
Chris has gone to heaven at least he's got his brothers Andrew and Brandon to show him around-God I hope this makes sense coz Iam trying to join words together.
R.I.P. Christopher Jacob you will be missed little guy-God Bless You and those you've left behind.
Kristi and Darren,
ReplyDeleteI can say I know what it's like to lose a child, but I do not know the pain of losing three. My heart breaks for you tonight as I know the loneliness you feel. Please know that Andrew, Brandon and Christopher touched many people in their short lives. You should be very proud of your boys! Our son Grant was full term but born w/ heart defects. He lived 29 days and passed away in surgery 11 years ago. (My first Mothers Day was spent at the funeral home.) When I stood where you are now, there is no way I could see anything good surrounding the circumstances. Today is a different story. My prayers for you are for your survival, your comfort and your endurance. For God to reveal Himself through your children and that one day you can look back and see what wonderful blessings you've been given.
In God's Hands
Shelli Smith
Alabaster, AL
Thank you all. Your words speak to me Shelli as what you said is almost exactly what I felt for awhile today. I indeed hope I can remember them as a blessing one day and not the sorry and emptiness I feel now.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the very graphic in depth account of Chris's last hours Kristi it must have been heart breaking seeing him going through hell the way youve described,I know it an old cliche and dont think I'm morbid saying it but he is probally better off now coz he is no longer in pain or suffering-please dont take any offence to the remark ok but if you do don't hesitate to tell me Ive stepped over the line.
ReplyDeleteI am truly sorry about Christopher's passing. We are all honoured and humbled that you decided to let us be part of what can only be a very trying and now tragic time. As I have said all along, your strength of character is an inspiration to everyone.
ReplyDeleteVale, Christoper Jacob, gone but never forgotten.
Ian, Heather, Bradley and Chloe Anderson
Kristi,
ReplyDeleteI would love for you to read Grant's story. You may not be able to do it today or tomorrow or the next, but I believe his story will give you hope through our grief. After our loss, I felt like nobody knew the deep pain and emptiness that I was going through. There are more of us out there than you know. Do you have an email address I can sent it to?
Shelli
I have been praying for the boys since I first heard of their births from Dana Pate. We have son, Tobias, who was born at 26.4 weeks and spent 108 days in the RNICU at UAB before coming home. He's hearing impaired, and had been on those blessed-yet-cursed steroids so long he was on blood pressure medication from the time he was 2, until a few months ago and he's 7. We lost our precious daughter, Layah Faith, 060808 after only 6 days, when she came at 23.3 weeks, due to a massive pulmonary hemorrhage. She was only a pound when she died. I had an incompitent cervix. I started a blog when she came, but only had 3 entries. I started another one that I too, didnt know how would end. www.preciouspromisesofhope.blogspot.com I asked Dana to send you some sites that other moms who have experienced loss and the struggle with infertility found comfort through. My heart breaks for you Kristi and I dont even know you, but I can relate to your pain. Many, unfortunately, have walked this road, in these "shoes" of grief that you can never take off. You get used to them after awhile, and that timeing is different for everyone, but sometimes you realize that you still have blisters and scars from them. I still miss our precious baby girl and have times where it all floods back into my heart, as if it never stopped. I will never forget her smell, and the way she felt as i held her before and after she passed. you will never either. i'm praying for you often, thorughout the day. If i can be of any encouragement, please email me. i couldnt talk for awhile, and it was easier to vent and get it out, through email. mshelfer@bellsouth.net
ReplyDeleteYes my time is spent trying to piece everything together right now and wondering just what went wrong. But I don't think I will ever find an ending to that story either. The best email address to use would be kristiuofa@aol.com and I will certainly love to look at other blogs or sites at sometime in the future when I feel like I can breath again. Thank you for so many wonderful friends and supporters through my site!
ReplyDeleteKristi, I know it's hard to imagine this right now, but tomorrow will be better than today, and the next day will be better than that. God bless. Larry and Connie S.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to hear that Kristi :o( I'm lost for words. My heart goes out to you and your husband family for you loss :o(
ReplyDeleteEvery time I come here and check out the blog especially now after Christopher's tragic passing my eyes just automatically well up and I'm overcome with emotion. I never knew Kristi's babies, especially Christopher would touch me emotionally and move me so like they have. I've never been touched like that. I could just imagine how many others were touched in the same way too if I was feeling like that.
ReplyDeleteMay God Bless Christopher, Brandon, and Andrew in Heaven.
May God also bless Kristi and Darren and help and look after them during these painful times.
Hope all went well Saturday
ReplyDeleteKristi I wanted to say thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing Chris's fight with me. Everyday we spoke about him I feel he became more a part of my life. And although i can never feel the loss you feel a part of me has gone with him. I also wanted to say that i was moved beyond what mere words can say by the use of "Flying with angels" on the slideshow at the funeral. It is an honour and a priviledge to have been a part of the service in some small way. I hope that after these darkest of days that a new morning has broken and that the new day brings Peace and comfort the love of god to you and Darren.
ReplyDeleteGod bless you both and strengthen you in the days ahead.
Your friend always
Kenny
Thank you again to everyone during this difficult time for us. Now if anyone knows how to print all this stuff out, plesea let me know! :)
ReplyDeleteKristi, go to "FILE" then "PRINT PREVIEW"... the preview should look like how it will print, and then just click "Print".. should work.
ReplyDeleteI am deeply sorry for your loss, Kristi. I have been following your blog for quite sometime and I have been praying for Christopher. I will always keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. Your bravery, strength, and love for your babies has been absolutely awe inspiring. I'll never forget you and your boys- your story has touched my heart forever. From one mother to another- thank you and God bless you.
ReplyDeleteWow, I'm glad to know this has touched some people, as so many have told me this has. It's hard to see just how this is a good thing but somehow, somewhere, I just hope and pray this has been an inspiration or has helped someone in their life. Thank you Tracey.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI am sick to hear this Kristi and know God is with you and your husband and Christopher.God Bless!
ReplyDeleteThank you bob, I'm sorry I had not seen this but I had not visited my blog in awhile. Thank you again for your kind words.
ReplyDelete